Places I Dread

Friday I went to the Chris Tomlin concert at Banker's Life Fieldhouse.  As I was driving with my friend downtown, I realized that I was not looking forward to going.  Not because of the performer, I love Chris Tomlin, but because of where we were going.  Then I started thinking about all of the places I hate going to or doing because of my size.  Places like concerts, places where there are large crowds, places with chairs with arms on them like movie theaters or concert venues or airplanes, restaurants where the tables are so close to each other.  I hate being in crowds where people bump into me, and for some reason, I think they blame me because of my weight.  I just want to blend in and not feel like I stick out since I am overweight.  I want to be able to not worry about whether or not I can sit comfortably in a chair with arms on it!  I know it is crazy but I went to a concert in Chicago in 2009 and I went to sit down and it was so painfully uncomfortable for me.  The arms were pressing into me.  I was miserable, and in pain.  I cannot remember since it was almost four years ago, but it might have even left me bruised.  I kept having flashbacks of that terrible experience on our way downtown.  My plan was to just stay standing. I mean, it is a concert, who sits down anyway? 

We found our seats and I was happy to be sitting on the end.  However, I was still bumped repeatedly by people walking in the aisles up and down the stairs.  Kari Jobe finished her opening set and there was a brief intermission while the stage was reset.  What did everyone do?  Sit down, of course!  Ugh!  I closed my eyes and took the plunge, preparing to stuff myself as best as I could into the seat.  You could imagine my pleasant surprise when I could do it - comfortably!  My eyes filled with happy tears which I quickly blinked away.  Progress!  Real, tangible progress!

Sundays are weekly weigh-in days.  Throughout January I dreaded those days.  Last week I was excited to lose four pounds.  This week I was even more surprised when I lost ANOTHER four pounds...4.4 pounds to be exact!  My weekly target points have decreased by one point which I need to be mindful of when I plan my meals for this week.  I know that future weigh-ins will not be as successful, and I just have to be mindful of that and not become discouraged.  This is a process. 

I was pretty sore last night after my four mile run/walk.  I was sore this morning, too.  My schedule said that I could rest or walk for 30 minutes.  I decided to walk for 30 minutes because my muscles feel less sore when I walk and stretch them out after my long runs on Saturdays.  I did walk for 30 minutes, and I also popped some ibuprofen this morning.  I am not sure at all now.  Tomorrow I run/walk for 30 minutes. The timing interval increases. I run for 25 seconds and walk for 35 seconds, repeating this same pattern the entire 30 minutes.  I am looking forward to spring when I can do this outside, but for now, working out indoors will do. 

I have received text messages, Facebook messages, comments on Facebook, etc., that have surprised me.  People that I had no idea would take the time to read my blog, let alone take time to send me a message, have just meant so very much to me.  While I am not going to publish those comments or messages on here, I want those people to know that they do mean so much to me, and that I do write them down in my own personal journal.  I am going to give a public shout out to Marci for being the first person and Kristi for being the second person to comment on the blog.  Thank you, Girls, for doing that!  And thanks to EVERYONE that has checked out the blog.  YOU are my inspiration!