Now, you have already figured out that I broke one of my goals this week and that was to only weigh myself on my official Weight Watchers weigh-in day which happens to be on Sundays. I had good intentions, though! You see, I was participating in my school's Biggest Loser competition. We started this competition after Christmas break, and our final weigh-in was today. Technically I should not have made that goal because I knew I had to do a weigh-in for this competition, but I digress. I decided to weigh myself this morning because I wanted to see how much different my scale is from the one I had to use in the nurse's office (or that was my excuse for wanting to weigh myself to see my progress).
I woke up this morning, jumped on the scale expecting BIG changes, and instantly burst into tears. I may have (using "may have" since my official weigh-in day is not until Sunday) gained another pound. In my head I lamented on and on about how hard I had worked this week.
I have:
- tracked points
- worked out according to my schedule
- eaten lots of vegetables and fruits
- not touched ONE PIECE of candy or ice cream (and trust me, the candy and ice cream were plentiful in the lounge this week)
- ate my salad while a delicious nacho bar was offered in the lounge on Wednesday of this week
- drank lots of water
I said things in my head like, "Why do I even bother?" or "Why didn't I enjoy some candy, ice cream, or the nacho bar?" My favorite thing I said to myself, "What's the point of working so hard when I am gaining weight anyway?" Those are some pretty depressing thoughts - thoughts that wasted absolutely no time popping into my head.
I drove to work and weighed in for the competition. I was grumpy as I reported my weight to the nurse (even though I had lost weight since it started in January...something I should be proud of). I was grumpy as I grumbled to my friend Carrie about possibly gaining a pound this week. For those of you who don't know Carrie, she is an amazing friend that is known for her filter, or more for her lack of filter. She has a way to tell things like they are without any sort of malice. She is very sweet and very supportive, and I value her opinion a lot. She pretty much put me in my place rightfully so. She told me that all of the things I did throughout the week were huge successes that I should be celebrating. Carrie went on to say that I am making positive changes. She told me that weight is just a number, and that I should not let that one number get me down. I fired back something along the lines of that is easier said then done when I have been letting that one number define me my entire life. Her response was quick and to the point, "Whose fault is that?"
Ugh! I hate when Carrie is right!
****Insert side note here**** Carrie, I love you and very much appreciate your friendship and wisdom!
Carrie reminded me that this is an ongoing thing. I need to celebrate all of my successes. She pointed out that me not succumbing to the temptations in the lounge this week were HUGE. Why is it so easy for someone else to see this and celebrate it, and I cannot? I need to get rid of my "stinkin' thinkin'" as my pastor would say. I cannot get derailed. I must stay focused. I will be spending some time reflecting on all of the positive changes I have made over the past couple of months.
I am going to leave this blog entry with a little bit of humor:
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