Three Goals

I have set about ten goals and created ten plans of things I want to do in 2015. I am going to share three of those with you today.  

One of my goals is to lose at least 50 pounds during the year.  I am going to set milestones and celebrate those milestones for every 20 pounds I lose.  I am going to reach these goals by eating cleaner, working out for at least 15 minutes daily, and tracking what I eat.  I have enlisted accountability to help me stay focused.  

Another goal I have is to RUN a 5K this year.  I have completed 5Ks in the past and even the Mini-Marathon.  However, I did these with a walk/run combination.  I want to run an entire 5K.  I am going to start training again.  First, I am going to take the Good Form Running class that Runners Forum offers.  I want to do this to make sure that my running form is correct.  I will then do a couch to 5K program.  I just have to purchase new running shoes and decide which 5K I want to commit to running.  

The third goal that I am going to share with you today is that I want to blog more.  I have set a goal to blog once a week.  I want to do this because it helps keep me accountable.  I enjoy writing, and I started the blog to help me process through what I am feeling and doing.  When I am struggling, I don't blog.  I do it for me, but if others read and/or benefit from my experience, then that is just even better!

2014 Goals

It was about this time last year that I talked about not really liking New Year's Resolutions for obvious reasons - they don't stick.  I guess I should say that I don't stick with them.  It is not their fault.  It is mine.  I haven't planned, or I would give up and not get back on track.  I have a plan that I will be implementing to make 2015 my best year yet.

These were the things I wanted to do in 2014:

So, how did I do?

1.  Break a bad habit - I gave up coffee and soda; occasionally I may have a coffee or a soda, but it is not my 3-4 cups of each that I would have daily.

2.  Learn a new skill - I think I am still working on this, but this goal setting that I have been doing has been a great new skill that I will continue to work on.

3.  Do a good deed - I would like to think I have done this pretty regularly.

4.  Visit a new place - I went to LA this year.  I have been there before, but I didn't venture out of the hotel.  This year I went out earlier and did some sightseeing with friends.  Loved it!

5.  Read a difficult book - Mission accomplished!  I read The Fault in Our Stars which I knew would be challenging and difficult to read, but I made it through it, and I didn't cry as much as I thought I would!

6.  Write something important - I keep journals, write stories, and I keep this blog.  I think that somewhere along the way I have written something important - at least important to me.

7.  Try a new food - I tried eating cleaner at times and more whole foods, less processed foods.  During those times I tried lots of new recipes and foods.  Some were delicious and some I could do without.  Looking forward to trying new foods in 2015!

8.  Do something good for someone who can not thank you - Wow!  This is a hard one to document.  I do feel like I could do better in this area.  I have done nice things for others, and I don't expect to be thanked for them.  However, I would like to be more giving.

9.  Take an important risk - I think completing the Mini was my important risk.  I was terrified of being picked up by the bus, but I didn't even see the bus!  I completed 13.1 miles and this proved to me that I could do so much more than I give myself credit for.


How did you do?  Did you complete the things you wanted to do in 2014?  Have you set goals for 2015?

Proverbs 29:18

This verse has been on my mind and heart a lot the last couple of weeks.  This is what the verse says:

Where there is no vision the people perish

It all started two weeks ago when I read a blog post from one of the blogs I follow.  This post came from Sublime Reflection and the author's name is Kimberly Job.  The post was entitled Design Your Destiny 2015 and it was about a special goal setting group / course that she was offering.  I signed up for the course, and I am so glad that I did!  

There were several exercises that Kimberly provided to review 2014 and to really narrow down our goals for 2015.  Not only that, but it provided you with steps to help plan out your goals.  If you don't have a plan for your goals, you will not be any closer to achieving them.  Throughout this process, I have set 10 goals that I want to accomplish in 2015 and created a plan for each of those goals.  I will be sharing some of these goals with you in upcoming posts.  

In addition to these wonderful resources, I have gotten a Passion Planner that I am going to use in 2015.  This planner is an amazing tool that you use to prioritize the things you are passionate about and want to accomplish.  Once you have done this, you use the planner to help schedule and plan how to achieve these goals.  I am SO excited to use this planner.  Here is the picture of my passion planner.  

I have included links to both Sublime Reflection and the Passion Planner website under the helpful links heading on the right hand side.  I encourage you to check both of them out!

As I was reflecting on 2014, I realized that two things I was proud of - completing the Mini-Marathon and completing 75 miles in July were both fitness related, but they also had other things in common.  I had plans for them.  I had goals and I had plans to achieve those goals.  I also had accountability.  The rest of the year I didn't set any goals.  I didn't have any plans.  I didn't enlist any accountability.  And if you read my last post, you saw the end result of all of that.  While reflecting on this, the bible verse kept coming back to me.  Without vision, I had perished.  I got lost because I didn't have any place to go.

That is probably the most valuable lesson I have learned in 2014.  I would have never learned it if I didn't take Kimberly's course.  2015 is going to be an amazing year for me.  I have some major mountains in front of me, but for the first time ever, I have a plan on how to climb them.

Do Over December

For the past several weeks I have been learning so much from the messages our awesome pastor has been preaching - #Facebookfantasies.  This past Sunday's message particularly spoke to me.  It was about selling out or settling for less than God's best in your life.  The reason?  Lack of trust.  Woah.  That nearly knocked the breath out of my lungs when my pastor said that because it is so true.  I have had a difficult time trusting God and have settled in certain areas in my life.

I hate that I have settled.  I know that I am not alone in this.  I am just tired of doing it.  It is time to be real and to deal with things that I have avoided dealing with for so long.  

I have not blogged in a long time, and I have missed it.  I just didn't have the motivation.  School started, and I got super busy.  I stopped taking care of myself in every sense of the word.  It took me a while to recognize it, but the exhaustion, not caring, lack of focus, temper flaring, etc. meant only one thing - I was slipping back into depression.  If you have never battled depression then it will be difficult for you to relate.  It controls every aspect of your life and it overtakes your life little by little.  As someone who has dealt with depression in my own life and in the lives of loved ones around me, I am usually pretty good about recognizing it early and getting the help that I need.  This time I didn't.  I let it rob me of precious time.  Time I can never get back.  

These dark months all looked the same.  I was going through the motions of my life.  I would go to work after dragging myself out of bed, get nothing done while at work because I couldn't concentrate, come home exhausted, binge eat, and go to bed by 8:00 p.m.  I just didn't care.  

It took my mom saying something to me to make me realize how depressed I had become.  I knew it was time to make the changes necessary to climb out of the pit.  The first thing I did was to tell a few close friends so that they knew what was going on and so that I had accountability.  I then made an appointment with my doctor.  It is important to have conversations about mental health with your healthcare professional.  

Yesterday's message was all the confirmation I needed.  Today, December 1st, marks the start of Do Over December in my life.  I know that I cannot truly do the past few months over, but I can scratch those months and not let them have control over me.  This comes at quite the high price.  My months of depression and binge eating have led to weight gain - a lot of weight gain.  I knew I was gaining some weight because some of my pants were not fitting me anymore, but I didn't realize exactly how much weight I had gained until I got on the scale this morning.  Oh. My. Word.  

It is done.  The weight has been gained.  Wallowing in it will only make things worse for me.  I have to make positive changes in my life.  These are the things that I have implemented for Do Over December:

*Tracking what I am eating using the free app My Fitness Pal

*Setting small, achievable fitness goals

*Tracking these fitness goals on a calendar (I will share in a future post)

*Following the medical advice of my doctor

Spiritually, I am going to work on trusting God in EVERY aspect of my life.  It is not going to happen overnight, but prayerfully, trusting God will be something that will become easier to me.  I will stop settling.   

I am ready for my Do Over December.  

Celebrate Small Victories

One thing I am beginning to appreciate so much more is celebrating the small victories.

I think this is so important.  If we wait to celebrate when we only hit major milestones, it is much easier to get discouraged and just want to quit.  I believe that if we take the time to celebrate the small victories that it will help stay focused on the bigger goal.  My overall goal is a happier, healthier me.

It is time to stop and celebrate some small successes.

Success #1: Making healthier food decisions

I have clearly made many unhealthy food decisions over the course of my life to get me to where I am today. I am trying very hard to turn that around.  I still stumble, a lot, but when faced with a healthy food versus unhealthy food decision, and I actually choose the healthy food, that is something to celebrate!  I consciously remember doing this on my recent trip to Washington, D.C.  I traveled by myself, and when I got to D.C., my hotel wasn't ready.  I had to kill some time before it would be ready, and I was on my own.  I didn't want to venture out too far because I was by myself.  Lucky for me, the hotel had its own underground mall.  I headed down that way and found a table where I could read a book while waiting.  While reading the book, I became hungry.  It had been awhile since I had anything to eat so I looked for something to snack on.  In a mall, you have many options.  I was tempted many times by Auntie Anne's pretzels, candy shops, ice cream, etc.  Instead, I settled on a healthier version of a snack - pretzels and hummus.  I went back to reading my book and snacking on my snack when it hit me - I just had a small victory in my battle.

Success #2: The 75 miles in July challenge

I came across a challenge to complete 75 miles in July.  I knew I needed something to get me motivated to stay active.  This was the perfect thing!  I also knew I needed accountability so I challenged people to join me.  I was completely overwhelmed by the response.  Fifteen people contacted me wanting to be part of the challenge.  15!  Some of those people reached out to their friends and family members and recruited them to be part of the challenge.  That is so exciting!  Whether or not the people are completing the miles (trust me, some of them are blowing this challenge out of the water!), each of them have inspired me daily through the month of July to work on my miles.  I am so thankful for them!

Success #3: Halfway through July, more than halfway to my goal

So, yes, the challenge has been exactly what I needed to get moving.  Today is July 15th.  Basically we are halfway through July, and after today's miles, I have accumulated 45 miles!  Woot woot!  Thirty more to go!

Success #4: Making goals

I have been struggling with running and staying active since the Mini-Marathon.  I finally figured out why.  I didn't have anything I was working towards.  After the Mini, I haven't registered for any races or set any other goals.  I was floundering.  I learned through this experience that I have to have something to work towards or I am less likely to keep going.  I will be setting more goals for myself, and sharing those goals with you so that I can be held accountable.  The goals will change, for example, I have already been thinking about what activity goal I want to set for August.  With the start of school, I know that the 75 mile challenge will probably be too challenging so I am already trying to decide what is the best goal for me that will still challenge me.  

Success #5: Giving up soda and coffee

I have not had a soda of any kind OR coffee since starting my summer vacation.  Do you know how huge this is?  I literally would have 2 - 3 cups of coffee every morning and at least one soda a day (if not more). Instead I have been drinking more water.  A lot more water.  I was probably a HUGE grouchy person the first week or so of doing this so I tried to avoid being out in public, but it has gotten easier.  There are still times when I want a big old Coke (especially a Sonic coke....yum!), but I have refrained.  I just pray that I can keep this up once I head back to school.  

 

I encourage you to stop right now and think about your own successes, no matter how small they may seem to you.  Celebrate those...these little successes will accumulate into bigger ones in no time!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yesterday was my 35th birthday. I normally dread my birthday. It just brings up too many memories and too many things I wish could be different. Somehow I end the day feeling sad and disappointed. Not this year, though. This year I gave myself the best present ever - accidentally.

I am in the middle of my 75 miles challenge during the month of July. Yesterday morning I was working on my miles. I was listening to music when all of a sudden my music stopped playing. I could not get it started again. I even tried different apps and everything. The music would not play. I finished my miles in silence. During those moments of silence, my thoughts started turning towards prayers, reflections, and meditations.

It was during that silence that a revelation shook me to the core. One thing I struggle with is the desire to be loved. Who doesn't want to be loved, right? The thing is, I already am. I have the best love possible - the love of Jesus Christ.

I also know that I have family and friends that love me. I see it on a daily basis in multiple ways. I would do anything for my loved ones...ANYTHING!

I realized during this time that there is one person that has not loved me.  One person who I have been dying a little more every day because I wanted this person to love me.  This person not loving me has left me broken and sad and feeling worthless.  One person that I was so desperate for their love.  This person?  Me.

I decided that for my birthday I am going to give myself the gift of loving me.  I can't be my best person; I can't accomplish the things I want to accomplish or even the things that the Lord wants me to accomplish if I don't love myself.  Now, this is not going to be all about me where I put myself above all others.  It is not a selfish motive.  Instead my desire is to no longer berate myself or be my worst enemy.  My desire is to embrace who I am, who The Lord has created me to be.

Crazy that it has only taken me 35 years to give myself this gift, right?  I wonder what I should give myself next year...

Shameless Plug

I love blogging.  It is such a release for me, and I love sharing my journey, feelings, and story with people that may be able to relate.  Not only do I love blogging, but I enjoy reading blogs, and I subscribe to quite a few.  I try to share blogs as I come across them in case you want to read them as well.  Today's post is about a blog that I am going to shamelessly plug because I have the honor of knowing the author personally.

The author of this blog has been a friend of mine since 1999.  We became close years later, and now I have the privilege of calling her my best friend.  She has seen me in my darkest days, puts up with my craziness (because let's face it, I am a little bit), and encourages me in so many ways while also loving me enough to be honest with me and dishing out some hard truths when I have needed them.

This friend has started a blog, and let me tell you, it is powerful.  She has a way of putting things into honest words that are beautiful.  Her posts have moved me emotionally, inspired me, encouraged me, and have made me so proud of her because honestly, it has not always been easy for this friend to share her thoughts and emotions to more than just a small circle of trusted people.

I encourage you to check out this blog filled with real, honest emotions.  Support this blog and the author in the same way you have supported me.  I promise you will enjoy...plus you can check out some cute pictures of my favorite four year old.

Maurer Musings

July Mileage Challenge...Who Is In?

I know it has been a long time since I have written a post, but that doesn't mean I have not had things going on.  I was busy ending a school year.  When that ended, I packed my bags and headed to D.C. for Pancreatic Cancer Action Network's Advocacy Day.  After that we had our PurpleStride event downtown and raised over $100,000 dollars for the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network.  Then I headed to Nashville for a trip.  

I have been thinking about posting, I promise.  I even have some lined up to be published soon.  This one is just a little more time sensitive so is taking priority at this point.  

I have been trying to eat cleaner.  I have really stepped this up over the summer.  The problem?  I have been struggling when I go out to eat or while I was out of town.  I am still trying to work through this.  

I saw this and it has been with me ever since:

All of my life I have been using food as an anxiety drug.  Instead of turning to food to deal with problems I should be turning to the Lord and using things like exercise to help me out.  

I have been working out, but I am ready to step it up and take things to the next level.  I want to do something to re-energize my running, and I am inviting YOU to participate with me.  Are you interested?  I am doing this July challenge:

I am going to complete 75 miles in 31 days.  That averages out to 2.42 miles a day during the month of July.  I am ready to do this.  How about you?  If you are interested, send me a message or comment on the blog so that we can be accountable and encourage one another.  It will be so much more fun with others doing it with me.  It doesn't matter how you complete the miles...you can crawl, walk, jog, run...just complete them!  I am starting this July 1st....who is with me?  

Rookie Run

One week after the Mini I had a sense of déjà vu as once again my best friend and running partner headed downtown on a Saturday morning. The only difference is that this time we had the world's cutest four year old in tow and instead of me being dressed in running gear, Shalom was.

Kids are so impressionable and for months Shalom has been watching her mom train for the Mini. It was only natural that Shalom decided she wanted to be like her momma and run, too. Kristal came across the Rookie Run and registered Shalom for her first ever run.

The Rookie Run was held on May 10th and is for ages 3 - 12. Kids are given a wave time based on their age.

We drove downtown and it was pretty busy since her wave time was later in the morning. We parked in the mall parking and started walking towards Monument Circle. Shalom wanted to rest for her race so she begged to be carried. This Auntie of hers loves to hold her and rarely gets the opportunity to do it as often as I want so of course I picked her up and carried her so she could be ready to go.

We got to her corral and like the Mini, people were holding signs to help get the children in the right corral. It is funny because as we waited you could tell Shalom was getting more and more anxious about the race. We kept telling her how much fun it was going to be and that she would do great! It is ironic because I remember feeling so nervous about the Mini myself. I actually got to witness someone else's race day jitters.

It was time for Shalom's group to line up. Shalom held onto her momma as long as she could, but then she bravely let go.

She followed the volunteers to the starting line and waited for her time to start.

The announcer said, "On your mark. Get set. Go!" And none of the kids moved. Finally with the urging of the 500 princesses that were volunteering and the crowd of spectators and supporters yelling at them to go, one brave four year old took off. That was all that was needed because they all followed suit.

We cheered and clapped and yelled, "Go, Shomie, Go!"

Here are some action shots of her big race:

I loved that she had a bib that had the number 1 on it. When she was done, she was given a medal, a bottle of water, a fruit cup, and some applesauce. It was adorable!

Shalom was thrilled she completed her race. I was so proud of her and loved being there to cheer her on! I am looking forward to cheering her on at more races, games, recitals...whatever this beautiful child decides to do!

The Mini

I DID IT!  I completed the Mini-Marathon!  I have had time to rest and reflect, and there is so much I want to say about it.  I honestly could not have done it without the love and support of my family and friends.  For all of the love and support you have each given me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

The night before the Mini I received many encouraging texts and messages.  I also knew that several people were planning on tracking my progress during the Mini using their app.  Here is one of my favorite messages:

My day started at 4:30 in the morning when I woke up to start fueling up for the big run.  I was surprised that I had slept so well.  Considering I had spent many sleepless nights during spring break fretting about the Mini, I was shocked that I was able to sleep through the entire night.  After eating I started getting dressed.  I had laid everything out the night before so that I was not scrambling around.  I wanted to be prepared.

My brother-in-law Jared came to my house and we left to pick up Kristal.  I had already prepaid for a parking spot so we headed downtown.  We hit a snag when the street to access our parking lot was closed. Jared helped to expertly navigate our car to the right parking lot without any further issues.  We started walking towards the start line with two quick restroom breaks between our car and the starting line (nervous bladder!).  When we got to the starting line, our corral was already starting to move so we jumped in and headed towards the official starting line.

While we were waiting, we took our beginning of the race pictures.

I knew I had a friend waiting for me at the starting line.  She gave me a huge hug and gave me some encouraging words before we started. She has been a running inspiration to me, and she has given me so much information about what to expect for the Mini.  She has been so helpful!  It was the perfect way to start my race

Our wave finally started.  We took off with excitement.  Kristal was tracking our overall pace while I was tracking our intervals.  We knew going into it that it is very common to start too fast.  We knew it, tried to avoid it, but failed miserably at it.  Our first miles were some of my fastest miles ever.  We kept trying to slow ourselves down but being caught up with people all around you, it is more challenging than you would think!

Between miles 3 and 4, I saw some faces I recognized on the side of the road.  Some of my friends were there with cowbells cheering for me!  I was completely shocked and surprised and excited!  I called out to them and waved and kept going.  I had no idea that was just the beginning...

When I was on 10th Street I saw two more friends standing there with pom-poms and cowbells cheering for me!  They even came out on the course with me and walked/ran with me on 10th Street and Main Street.  Again, completely surprised and so elated to see them!  Before I got to the Speedway Racetrack I saw even more friends!  They, too, ran alongside the course and cheered and encouraged me.  It was awesome!
I entered the Speedway and had to take a quick restroom break.  My pace was still decent so I was not too worried about taking the break.  The track was the most challenging part for me.  I thought I would enjoy it more because I had never been there, but I did not like running on it.  At this point I was tired and worn down and really struggling.  I was also getting discouraged because my RunKeeper that I use when running was registering longer distances than the large mile markers along the course.

I was so excited when we finally left the track and what do you know?  My friends I saw before the Speedway were waiting for me as I left the Speedway.  It was too much.  I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I began crying.  Here I was thinking about quitting and getting tired and my friends just kept popping up all over the place.  Again, God knowing exactly what I need when I need it.

I was still tired and worn out, but I kept putting one foot in front of the other.  At this point, I just had to finish.  On the way back downtown I saw another friend!  She walked right out to the course and started encouraging us and talking to us.  It helped keep my mind off how tired I was.  Then all of a sudden, my friends from miles 3 and 4 appeared.  All of these friends stayed with me until miles 11 and 12.

We started the last long mile.  I know our pace had decreased considerably, and we kept looking back to see if the bus was anywhere in sight.  I can now officially say that I never even SAW the bus!  That was a pretty great feeling!

I saw some other friends in the last mile.  One of them had finished the race and she and another friend yelled out some encouraging words for me.  Seeing them made me smile!

I saw a lot of great and funny signs along the course.  However, the BEST sign came in mile 13 when I looked over and saw even more friends cheering me on.

I was so tired and so completely overwhelmed with emotion.  I didn't even know what to think or say or do.  I just knew I had to keep pressing forward.  I had to get over that finish line.  I had too many people there that loved me and supported me through all of this that I could not let them down.  Luckily, my friends were able to capture the moment when I finally crossed the finish line:

I completed the Mini-Marathon!  I could not have done it without the love and support of my family and friends.  I would have quit at the track.  I had even more friends waiting for me after the finish line.  It was a friend of mine who was volunteering at the event that was able to give me a hug and put the medal around my neck.  

I received two more congratulatory hugs from two other friends that were volunteering in the medal section.  We moved through the fruit and water and cookies and sat down to rest.  Here is my RunKeeper information:

Here were some of my splits:

I had two goals for this race.

1.  Finish the race.

2.  Avoid the bus.

I achieved these goals!  RunKeeper reminded me of that:

Do I have any Mini regrets?  Maybe one.  I did not get my chocolate milk at the end of the race.    

Will I do the Mini again?  I can not say I will NEVER do the Mini again.  I can say that I will NEVER do the Mini again at this weight.  I trained for the Mini and it was still very difficult and grueling both mentally and physically.  I literally would not have made it through without YOU.  Whether or not you were there on the day of the Mini or not, I knew that people from all over were praying for me, thinking about me, believing in me, encouraging me, watching my progress, supporting me, texting me, calling me, checking to make sure I was alive after the Mini, and the list goes on and on and on.  I cannot even begin to thank you.  My heart is so full, and I love each and every one of you so much.  

So what is next for me?  Well, some much deserved rest time to fully recover.  I also need to pick up a new pair of running shoes.  Right now I am going to work on improving my speed on my 5K distance.  I am also going to incorporate more cross training and focus on nutrition.  My journey is not done, and I am so thankful that I have amazing people traveling with me!  

My Prayer for the Mini

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for the chance to run for You tomorrow.  I pray that tomorrow's run brings You glory.

Lord, I pray for everyone running the Mini-Marathon tomorrow.  I pray for the safety and health of all runners, workers, and volunteers.  I pray that if any runner is anxious that we will remember to be anxious for nothing.  I pray for Your peace that surpasses all understanding.

I pray that our Run for God group is able to keep our eyes focused on You.  I pray that our strength will be renewed.  I pray that every step we take brings us closer to You.  When we grow weary, I pray that You will lift us up.

I pray for the people that have supported me throughout this journey.  I pray for extra blessings for each and every one of them.  I thank You, Lord, for surrounding me with amazing people who encourage and believe in me even when I struggle to do the same thing.  You know exactly what I need, and when I need it, Lord. I am amazed at Your goodness!    

I pray for beautiful running weather tomorrow morning with no rain.

I thank You, Lord, for this journey that You are taking me on.  I know that tomorrow will be just one race of many more to come.

I pray all of these things in Jesus' name,

Amen.

Second Run for God Group

Helping me train for the Mini-Marathon has been an awesome group of women at my church.  These women make up our Run for God group:

Our RFG group minus Kristal.  She still needs to Photoshop herself in the picture!  

Half of us were training for the Mini while half of us were training for a 5K.  I LOVE this group of women!  I learned so much about running, made new friends, grew closer to current friends, and definitely learned more about God and my relationship with Him.

After 12 weeks of training, we were ready for our celebratory run.  This time we completed our run at Eagle Creek Park.  Originally we were only supposed to run a 10K and 5K respectively that day.  But at this point in my Mini-Marathon training I still needed to complete a 10 mile run.  So a few of us went extra early to complete our 10 mile run.  We were able to finish up about the same time the 10K and 5K groups were finished.  We had our cookout and enjoyed time together celebrating our great achievement.

This particular run was challenging for me.  Ten miles is the longest distance I have run (even to date).  I had my perfect run the weekend before, and I am not sure if I was expecting that or what, but I struggled! Here is the overview of that run:

When I was finished, I was disappointed with the pace, but I refuse to be discouraged.  I HAD JUST COMPLETED 10 MILES!!!! WHAT IS THERE TO BE DISCOURAGED ABOUT?

We are going to do another Run for God group later in the year, and we will just have a 5K group.  I am very excited about this because there is something awesome about watching the transformation in people as they go from claiming they cannot run to finishing a 5K.  I am amazed and inspired by this every single time we have a class.  Looking forward to more chances to Run for God!

Perfect Run

Saturday, April 12th is a day that I will remember for a long time.  It was a perfect run.   Completing this run, would have been my longest run to date (at the time).  I was definitely worried about completing this run since my run the weekend before was a bust.  The night before I had a difficult time sleeping.  I was definitely nervous (even though I was really trying not to be!) and kept waking up in the middle of the night, tossing and turning.

I picked my friend up and we headed to Eagle Creek to complete our long run.  When we got there we first drove around and planned the route we would run.  After that, we parked and began to warm up.

Before we began our run, I told my friend that I was not even going to worry about my pace.  I just wanted to complete eight miles.  She agreed since eight miles would be the longest distance she had ever tried running.  We prayed before starting and then off we went.  As soon as we got around the first bend, we were greeted with this beautiful view:

During our run, we encountered many other runners, bicyclists, and walkers.  I did my best to greet all of them.  We also had several people say encouraging things to us.  I loved it!

All during the run, I felt pretty good.  I did have to go to the restroom during mile 4 and luckily, there was a restroom there for me to use.  I stopped my GPS during that time because I did not want it going while I was in the restroom.  However, my friend stopped for the restroom two times, and I kept my GPS going during those times.

I followed a lot of advice from friends.  I took a small water bottle with me during my run.  I ate a little bit more food for breakfast in the morning than I did the week before.  I turned the voice off on my RunKeeper app so that I could not hear my pace and distance and get discouraged.  I only heard my intervals.  I bought some energy beans and started taking them as needed around mile four.

As our run continued, I could tell I was getting tired.  I really slowed down during the last mile.  You know what helped?  Having someone right there with me.  That is what I noticed about this perfect run.  I had a friend that I could encourage and that encouraged me.  I know that is a huge reason why I was able to keep going even after being so tired.

When we were finished with the run, I was shocked!  Our pace was awesome!  Here is the overview of our run:

Here were the splits:

Mile 4 is where I turned off the app while taking a restroom break.

I still am thinking about this perfect run.  All of my other runs since this one have not even compared to it.  Am I ever going to have another amazing run like this?  I certainly hope so!  

Things have been VERY busy between school and training for the Mini.  I am officially less than a week out from the Mini-Marathon.  I have other posts that are swirling around in my head and I am hoping I can get them written soon.  Thanks for the encouraging words and prayers in between the posts!  You guys rock!

Elephant in the Room

****Note: The title of this post was confirmed this morning when I got an e-mail from a friend/co-worker about a dream she had about me last night.  In the dream our school was surrounded with elephants and I was sprayed by one of them.  I was soaked and not happy at all about it.  Hilarious!

Okay, it is time to talk about the elephant in the room.

No, I am not talking about Ellie.  She is more of a horse than an elephant anyway.

I am talking about the thought that some of you may have thought, and I know I have been thinking about for awhile now.  Allison, if you are training for the Mini and running / working out more, then why aren't you losing weight?  Great question!  I mean, you would think if one is working out on a regular basis that weight should be coming off.  I would lose some weight one week just to gain it back another week.  Losing and gaining the same pounds over and over.

Then I saw something that stopped me in my tracks.  This picture has haunted me since seeing it:

That is the problem.  I have been feeding disease for far too long.  I have struggled with eating right for many years.  I decided a change was in order.  

I need something manageable and something that I can maintain for the rest of my life.  I have been seeing and hearing about people that are "eating clean."  I looked into it and thought that seemed like it would work for me.  Last week I tried eating cleaner.  I did not eat clean for every meal simply because I refuse to be wasteful with food I had already purchased.  

I have noticed some positive changes since eating cleaner.  I do not seem to be craving sweets as much (and I definitely have a sweet tooth)!  I also seem to have more energy.  The recipes I have used so far have tasted great!  

While I am not planning on weighing in every week I will be weighing in for the next couple of weeks to make sure I am losing and not gaining while trying to eat cleaner.  I weighed in this morning and after eating cleaner for only 1 week, I have lost 14 pounds!  That is exactly the momentum I need to keep pushing towards my goal of being a healthier, happier me.  

I realized it has been awhile since I have added a picture of myself.  When I first started the blog I was adding monthly pictures, and I am going to try to do that again.  This is to help me see some of the physical changes (hopefully!) in my body.  This month you are in for a special treat.  I had the world's cutest three year old at this month's photo shoot and she had some creative poses for me to try.  I tried every single one she wanted me to do, and I am going to add them here now.  Enjoy!  

It's Okay to Not Be Okay

I am crazy.  Like, seriously, crazy.  Please remember to pray for my family and friends as they have to deal with my neurotic self.  I always promise honesty and honesty is what I will give.  I am NOT writing this post for an outpouring of support.  I am writing this post to show the struggle is real.  Here are just a few things I have experienced this last week.

I was pretty pumped after running 6+ miles on Monday.  Then something changed.  Do not ask me what because I am not sure, but I had several sleepless nights this week.  Any time I would think about the Mini-Marathon I had a pit in my stomach.  I started poring over it almost obsessively, fretting about my running pace.  It was causing me not to sleep.  The bottom line?  I was sick to my stomach because of a fear of failure.  My definition of failing was being picked up by the bus during the Mini.

By Thursday, I had had it.  I did what I should have done after the first sleepless night.  I turned to the Lord.  I began reading His word and any time I felt myself getting anxious, I turned it over to Him.  I had to do that multiple times.  I am still doing that even now.  Some of the verses that I will continue to meditate on are:

I went to our last Run for God class on Thursday evening.  Before class I confessed to a dear friend of mine what I had been struggling with.  There may have been some tears shed as well.  I confessed to her then that I knew my thoughts were out of control.  She looked right at me and said, "This is supposed to be fun, and it does not sound like you are having fun right now."  Bingo.  This is supposed to be fun.  Sleepless nights and fear of failure do not equal fun.

We had our study and one of the verses that night was my all-time favorite verse:

Bible study reminded me that I am doing this in order to draw closer to God.  I cannot do this in my own strength.  I have to trust Him in all things.  I have been traveling down this path for over a year now, and I believe that God has been along for the ride.  It is time to make Him the driver.

After bible study we had a training run.  I did share my struggle with two of the awesome ladies from our Run for God group as we warmed up walking.  Both of them were very encouraging and reassuring and made me feel great right before the run.

One thing I decided to do was run naked.  What!?!?!?!?!!??  Okay, not really naked but I wanted to run without music and without GPS tracking my pace.  I just needed to unplug.  I needed to quit obsessing over my pace and timing and just focus on my surroundings.  I used my cell phone's timer to help with my intervals but that was it.  I think I ran over 3 miles that night with a decent pace.  I cannot tell you for sure because I don't know.  What I do know is that I spent that time praying and praising God and it felt great.  It was exactly what I needed.

Which brings us to today...the plan today was to do eight miles.  It was a gorgeous day for running!  I headed to a park in Plainfield with a running buddy.  I decided again not to listen to music but just to listen to my run/walk intervals.  I started off feeling great.  I was moving and knew my pace was amazing.  Then it happened.  I had to go to the bathroom.  I was forced to take to the woods (and pray no one saw me)! After that, it was crash and burn.  I could never really hit my stride again after that.  I ended up walking more than running and definitely walked the last mile.  One thing that also got to me was that at certain intervals I would hear the voice update of my pace slowing down and it was driving me crazy.  I ended up taking my headphones off and just walked the rest of  the way back to my car.  I was done.  You know what, though? I still focused on the Lord.  I still praised Him throughout it and know that I am learning more about myself and my faith through all of this. The pep talk from my running buddy after today's run also helped me stay focused and not get discouraged.

Things I learned about today's run:
*Drink less before heading out!
*Hydrate more throughout the run
*Figure out how to get my running app to not tell me my pace when updating mileage
*Do not start so fast.
*Some runs stink!  Brush it off and move on.

And here is the overview of my run today:

Here are my splits for today (and you can tell where I walked!):

Even as I have been writing this post, I have been struggling.  Trust me.  It has taken me longer to write this post than any other post I have done in the past.  And it is here where I admit some things and let some things go.

I may not be able to finish the Mini-Marathon.  There is a chance that I could get picked up by the bus, and that is okay!  Admitting that now to you is very freeing for me.  Because the bottom line is that this has been a journey for me - one that will continue well after the Mini has come and gone.  I will continue to train and continue to fight because I do REALLY want to complete this race.  However, the lessons I have learned and how it has helped draw me closer to the Lord means so much more.  I am determined to work hard but at the same time have fun with this.  Admitting that I might fail allows me to continue on this journey and to fully rely on God.  It allows me to stop trying to control things and doing things in my own strength (which is actually very weak). I know that I absolutely cannot do this or anything without Him.  He is where I draw my strength and courage.  I commit this race to Him and whatever the outcome of it, I know that I will learn so much from this experience.