I am in the middle of my 75 miles challenge during the month of July. Yesterday morning I was working on my miles. I was listening to music when all of a sudden my music stopped playing. I could not get it started again. I even tried different apps and everything. The music would not play. I finished my miles in silence. During those moments of silence, my thoughts started turning towards prayers, reflections, and meditations.
It was during that silence that a revelation shook me to the core. One thing I struggle with is the desire to be loved. Who doesn't want to be loved, right? The thing is, I already am. I have the best love possible - the love of Jesus Christ.
I realized during this time that there is one person that has not loved me. One person who I have been dying a little more every day because I wanted this person to love me. This person not loving me has left me broken and sad and feeling worthless. One person that I was so desperate for their love. This person? Me.
I decided that for my birthday I am going to give myself the gift of loving me. I can't be my best person; I can't accomplish the things I want to accomplish or even the things that the Lord wants me to accomplish if I don't love myself. Now, this is not going to be all about me where I put myself above all others. It is not a selfish motive. Instead my desire is to no longer berate myself or be my worst enemy. My desire is to embrace who I am, who The Lord has created me to be.
Crazy that it has only taken me 35 years to give myself this gift, right? I wonder what I should give myself next year...
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