Pacing Issues

It was windy, cold, and flurries were coming down, but I did it.  I ran two miles.  What's the big deal you might think...haven't you been running for awhile?  Let me back up...

Saturday evening I ran 4 miles.  4 miles!  I was very excited because it was my first long run in awhile, and that run had officially completed The Puppy Love Run Virtual 5K.  I was even excited about my first instant collage I created using my iPhone:

I struggled with this run.  I think part of the reason is that I started later in the evening.  I also think that even though it was hours after I had eaten lunch, that my lunch was still sitting on my stomach and made running uncomfortable.  

I started reflecting on my run soon after it was over.  I was definitely discouraged by the pacing.  I know that during the Mini-Marathon there is a bus behind everyone that will pick you up if your pace is not fast enough.  I did some research and found out that you have to keep a pace of less than 18 minutes per mile.  This probably does not sound like it should be a huge problem. Well, for normal people at least.  This girl's pace is not where it needs to be!  In fact, here are my splits from Saturday's run:

First mile was great!  Miles 2, 3, and 4 were not so great.  I had even done some experimenting with the ratio of running to walking.  The first mile I was at 3 minutes running and 1 minute walking.  The other miles I did two minutes running and 1 minute walking.  

After I realized that my pace was super slow I instantly became discouraged.  Am I going to be able to complete the Mini-Marathon without completely embarrassing myself and getting picked up by the trail bus?  

Doubts have plagued my mind since Saturday.  I conferred with a friend of mine who is an avid runner and has completed a marathon even.  She has faith in me and thinks I can shave my time down to the required 18 mile pace.  She encouraged me to keep training and just work a little bit harder each time I train.  

Today was my next running day.  I was determined to keep my two miles on my training schedule to less than 18 minutes each.  I also wanted to make sure that I am tracking my pace so I had to run outside where GPS would work best.  I decided to take my running clothes to school and change there and run outside after school.  

It was bitter cold and windy and there were flurries swirling all around me, but I ran.  It felt good to run.  Was I able to keep my desired pacing?  Yes, I was!

My splits:

Not sure why there is a third mile...I only ran two!

I was elated!  I wanted to jump up and down and scream when I saw those!  I even broke a personal record:

I experimented with some different running intervals.  I tried running for 1 minute and walking 30 seconds for the first mile.  I then went to 30 seconds of running and 30 seconds of walking for the second mile.  I am still trying to figure out what my perfect running / walking combination will be.  

Time for full disclosure.  I had another crummy day today at work.  It has been one more on top of a whole string of crummy days.  I had already decided that I would do my run but then I would just stop and get some horrible, unhealthy meal for dinner for myself.  Because unhealthy eating will make it all better, right?  I saw this and laughed because it is so true:

Something miraculous happened while I was running.  The stress of the day started to melt away.  When I was finished, the desire for junk food had diminished enough that I could resist.  My desire for junk food had been replaced with the desire to just go home and make myself dinner.  And that is what I did.  I even had enough energy to grade some papers.  Maybe I will get all crazy and work on some lesson plans for next week.

New Developments

Well, there have been some new developments in my life that I feel it is time to share with all of you.  The first is that I got the best present for Valentine's Day:

Yes, that is right, I finally invested in an iPhone.  I couldn't pass it up!  It was a great deal, and I was long overdue for the upgrade.  Happy Valentine's Day to me!  

I immediately started downloading apps for my iPhone.  The first couple of apps (after the required social networking apps) were running related.  I downloaded Running for Weight Loss and RunKeeper.  I was excited this morning to try out one of the running apps.  I started with RunKeeper because I wanted it to track the mileage while I was running.  I had to run this morning, and I did not feel safe enough to run in the dark by myself so I ran around my house.  It did not take me long to figure our that the app was not working in the house.  Here is my (inaccurate) data from this morning:

I ran for 40 minutes, and the mileage that was calculated was 0.14 with a pace of 4 hours and 48 minutes.  The app said I only burned 62 calories, but I was dripping sweat!  I had to laugh at how off it was!  In the notes section I even wrote: GPS does not work while running inside!  I forgot to wear my pedometer this morning which I was kicking myself for after the fact because then I would have at least some idea of how far I ran this morning.

Another development is that after a lot of frustration, research, and soul searching, I have decided to tackle the Mini-Marathon with a run / walk combination.  This will help with my pacing, help to train, and to run further distances.  This is the first time I am running the Mini-Marathon and I want to be smart and train for it without injury.  I believe this is the best way.  When I get faster and better at running, and if I enjoy running in the Mini-Marathon, I can always make it a goal to run the entire thing next year. However, I need to be practical and set achievable goals.  This morning I ran for three minutes and walked for one minute, repeating the same pattern over and over.  I was able to run harder and faster with the brief intervals of walking to help rest and recharge.

Let's see here, I have covered my new iPhone, my epic technology failure, my new method of training, and now I get to share something crazy I am doing.  Awhile ago (like sometime last year) my friend Amanda talked me into purchasing a Groupon for karate.  I have been trying to try new things and not be so quick to say no.  We were supposed to start our classes yesterday, but because of the crazy Indiana weather we started tonight.  We were the only two adults (besides the Sensei) in a classroom full of children.  It was definitely out of our comfort zones, but we did it!  It was a lot of fun, and I have to admit, I enjoyed getting rid of some of my stress and frustration by kicking and punching the punching bags.  I might have to get one of those for home!  This is where we are taking our karate:

I was self-conscious during the class, but it was good for me to try something new.  I am already sore from some of the punches and the getting up and down quickly and the (yikes!) push ups we had to do.  I think karate will be a great thing for me to do to help with cross-training and just another different way to get a work out in.  I loved hearing some of the adults that were there watching their kids practice say things like "Good for you" and "I can't judge you because I am not out there."

I think that these new developments are starting to spark something in me!  Stay tuned...

Bling

I have made it no secret that I have been struggling with running.  I do not know why.  I just know that I have not been really motivated to do it.  That may have changed.  I shared in an earlier post that one of my wonderful Christmas presents was a medal holder from three of the cutest second graders.  I only have one medal hanging from it right now, and it is kind of depressing.

One lonely medal

This morning I decided I needed to find some races I could do that would result in more bling for my medal holder.  I hit the jackpot!  Virtual races...have you heard of these things?  You register like a race, but you complete it on your own.  It gives you the freedom to run the distance where you want and when you want.  You can even complete the distance on a treadmill if you want and then you are mailed your medal.

The first website I came across was Will Run for Bling and Charity.  This website has really cute medals and from what I can tell, hosts a virtual race a month that benefits different charities.  Running, earning medals, and benefiting charity?  Sounds like a win, win, win!

***The win, win, win comment just made me think of the Conflict Resolution episode from The Office.  Enjoy this sidebar:

The other website I found is the US Road Running website.  They have a ton of virtual races with all distances imaginable.  The registration is cheaper than the Will Run for Bling website, but it does not look like charities receive any donation.  Still, lots of races and different medals a runner can collect.

I have already registered for three virtual races.  Let the training / running begin!  Any guesses as to which ones and which medals I will be earning?  There could be a special prize for the person that guesses the three races correctly. . .

Breakdowns Leading to Breakthroughs

The other day I was getting ready for work.  It was a jeans day, and those days I always look forward to.  Who doesn't love working in jeans?  I was putting on my "fat" jeans because I was having a fat feeling day.  I just felt gross and awful.  Anyway, I put on the jeans and was totally disgusted because the inner thigh area of them had holes in them and had to be thrown away.  This was the second pair of jeans in a couple of weeks that have been pitched for the exact same thing.  Insert instant grumpy mood here.

I have other pairs of jeans, but they are all in smaller sizes (I have a whole range of sizes in my closet from my years of yo-yoing up and down sizes).  I wasn't giving up a jeans day so I squeezed myself into a smaller size and was more than slightly uncomfortable all day long.  I could go buy some new jeans but there are two problems with that.  This girl is on a budget and is trying to save money so I don't really want to spend the money, and more importantly, I do not really want to buy jeans in that bigger size.  I want to wear the jeans in smaller sizes that I already have in my closet (and then I want to be able to go buy smaller sized jeans I have never worn before)!

Dealing with those emotions is bad enough, and the last couple of times I ran, I really struggled.  I may have struggled in running because I woke up on Monday and my foot was sore and bruised.  I was trying to remember how I injured it, and then I remembered.  My dog was very excited and jumping up and down when she came right down on my bare foot.  109 pounds of excited dog on a foot is not a good feeling.  I remember it hurting really badly when it happened.  I ran after it happened, but the bruising did not surface until later.  I decided to take a few days off of running to ensure that my foot is completely healed.  I am hoping to run tomorrow at RFG (assuming we are not canceled because of the weather...winter!), and I am hoping it will be a breakthrough because I desperately need a breakthrough.

Why do I get in this cycle?  Why can't I break free?  Why can't I commit to losing weight and do it?  Why is it such a mind game?  Why do I gain momentum and then lose it so quickly?  Why do I just want to throw in the towel so easily?  Ugh!  So frustrating.

There has been one major highlight this past week in all of my doom and gloom.  The author of the blog that I posted a link to in my last post actually read it and commented!  I was blown away, flabbergasted, completely excited that she is going to read my blog and that she even took the time to comment on it.  I went back and reread the comment, and it completely speaks to the struggle I just wrote about.  In fact, it caused me to change the title of this blog entry.  I am going to share it here with you

Allison, I haven't read your other posts yet but I want to go back and catch up on your story. First, thanks for posting a link to my AOR post! Second, thank you for being honest on your blog about struggling with running. I'm struggling right now also. Today was the first day in....almost 10 months?...that I was able to run a full mile. GAH! Injury recovery. 

Anyway, I want you to know that you WILL get there. There were more days that sucked running than days that didn't for the first 3 years of my running journey. Remember that when you are weak, physically, mentally and emotionally, God is still strong. Rely on Him to keep you going...even on days when you struggle to run...and He will be there. 

This is one of the things I love about distance running. When my body is weak and my mind clears out all the clutter and distraction, what is left is a stronger sense of my connection to God. I pray you get that from running as well! 

They say that breakdowns lead to breakthroughs. :-)

Praying that anyone (including me) who is experiencing a breakdown will lead to a breakthrough!

New Shoes

This week I got my second pair of running shoes.  I was super excited about getting them!  I ended up with the same size (I thought I may have to go up a half size) and the same running shoe (kind of).  Same brand and same style...instead of pink, they are yellow.  Here they are:

I took them out for their inaugural run on Thursday during our Run for God class.  That was a great class because we had a representative from Runner's Forum come and talk to us about running shoes and apparel.  It was very informative, and I even won a pair of gloves and hat!  For our training we were able to run outside for the first time.  All in all, it was a good evening.

I really struggled with my run on Thursday evening, and I really struggled with my run today.  Saturdays are supposed to be my long, slow run.  I generally look forward to them because I get to go slow and I seem to increase my mileage each time.  Today, though, it didn't happen.  I don't know if it was the new shoes, or running in the evening instead of in the morning, or a mental thing, or what.  I just really struggled.

February 1, 2014

That is how far I got today, and I just quit.  In three short months I am supposed to run 13.1 miles.  Ugh!  Will I ever be ready?  Will I be able to do it?  Or, will I fail?

I saw a blog post making its rounds on Facebook that I decided to read.  It brought tears to my eyes.  I know I am an emotional mess anyway, but I just really needed to read this at the exact moment I came across it.  Funny how things work like that.  Check it out:

Adult Onset Runner

Awesome read, right?

I appreciate all of the love and support and outpouring from my family and friends since my previous post.  I survived the day.  The Pancreatic Cancer Action Network meeting was cancelled because of weather.  However, I managed to stay out of bed all day.  I didn't do much, but I didn't sleep the day away either.  The Lord has put people in my life that can love, support, and speak things to me when I need it.  Sometimes I take that for granted, and this past week has reminded me to appreciate it.  

Now, if only I could have a running breakthrough. . .